According to this reading, "there are a number of reasons for the changes in the family." In your experience, what is the most significant reason causing change in families in your community?
From my personal experience what I have come to the conclusion is that there are a number of reasons for the significant change is my community and our families.
First, the growth of the community has increased and the members seem to be less concern about the emphase that was once place upon us from the catholic religion. It seems that back about ten to fifteen years ago in order to raise a proper family two people had to be married, before having children. However, today it's okay to have children out of wedlock. In addition to this there are many single parents, foster-families and same sex families.
Also our elders are not living with their children as they had once had to care for their parents while taking care of their own family. The need for childcare didn't exist because the grandparents were there to also care for the grandchildren, not because the homemaker was working because she did other chores within the household.
Finally, People in the community just do care about one another has they had once before. If a neighbor needed to borrow a cup of milk before it was just lent however, now the neighbors are now calling social services and reporting that you don't have food for your family. We have come to mistrust the people in our communities. As well as, the substain abuse has taken a forthfront in our communities. It makes people not care about themselves and their loved ones, it's all about their addictions.
And these are some of the reason why I think our communities and families are changing.
When we were younger, we use to be able to leave the house at the crack of dawn to wander all over the community and return home at dusk. Today, this is not very common. Our community’s population has exploded. As a result, more homes are being built decreasing the number of open play areas we use to have. When our community was smaller, we were more intertwined and everyone knew everyone. As kids we were allowed to wander everywhere because our parents knew we were being watched by our neighbors and relatives. And if we did something wrong our parents would find out or that person would give us a piece of their mind, then call our parents. This can’t be done anymore because we don’t know who to call. Some members end up turning a blind eye or feel like it is not their place, when once upon a time it was. It used to be that the community raised a child, which is getting much harder and harder to do.
I believe that things are going so fast and we are not changing with the times. People are always trying to fill their schedule for family activities, but is really family activities or is it just trying to keep up with the JONES?? I believe that we should have some kind of time to sit back with your family and talk about your day, take a canoe ride or just play a board game. Family at one time was something we took part of and now I see people can't even make time to visit their family. Our role models are no longer, we as first nation people have a heard time trying to figure out WHO WE ARE! We need to step back and look at what we have and where we are going!
Our time here is short and for me, I put my family always ahead of myself and I make sure we teach our daughter what family is all about. I was brought up with STRONG family values, and that's what I wish to teach!
I think that after reading the family it does define what a family is. My personal thoughts on how families are changing are: You no longer have to married to have children. There are more single parents now than before,and one more change is that fathers no longer take the role of the home because mothers are more and more going out in the work force instead of being the housewife, and a lot more fathers are staying home.
From my experiences growing up and seeing the way families change over time is that people do not want to get married. For instance, two people are in a relationship and they have children, and then decide to move in togther in turn acting like a married family. These behaviors have seem to become acceptable in todays society. On the other hand, drugs and alcohol seem to play a big factor in how families are changing also. Families that end in a tragity like that usually end up in a family in which is made up of another similar family with children, they may or may noy be ingaged in marriage, but this is just another way that families are changing in todays society.
There have been significant changes to the family in recent years. I feel the main reason for the change is due to high cost of living resulting in both parents having to work outside of the home. "Traditional" families had the mother at home, cooking and cleaning while the father went out to work. These days, both parents are out working and the child(ren) depending on their age are either in daycare or are latchkey kids. This type of arrangement also makes for a very hectic life. Not only are the parents busy, but children are busy in their activities and schedules are tight.
Other changes in family include the single parents, increased divorces, and same-sex parents. This changes has caused society to be more open-minded, for our children and us adults too, to be more resilient and to have tolerance. This is especially so because where our world was once so small (our neighborhood/ community) to is now a larger world view due to the internet. There is so much at our fingertips.
The most significant reason causing change in families in my community is that couples have children without being married to one another. There are a lot of families that are in a common-law marriage. It is acceptable in our community to have children and not be married. Also, in our earlier years they believed that you needed to be married in order to have children, but as the times changed so did our beliefs.
For the most part I'd say from a positive point of view; people staying together and working out their problems and taking care of their children/child, together, and creating their own meaning of family.
Negative influences, I would say drugs and alcohol are a major factor. People with mixed up priorities. Disloyalty that leads to distrust.
I assume people try to manage their problems to the best of their ability, but sometimes things don't get taken care of in time and problems persist and/or get worse.
I know there is emotional hurt from past issues throughout; as a culture, overall, and then the feeling of resentment, not knowing who to blame and having to accept things that aren't easy in any way to agree with. Then there comes anger, which unfortunately sometimes turns into rage. And then that's where abuse comes in, in all forms. A lot of people with self worth issues choosing to act destructive or just stupid.
As long as there are a significant amount of people consistently working to better themselves and their lives, and at the same time, positively contributing to society,the community, and living healthy as possible then for sure more will be able to expect better. Progression.
Marriage is just an act. Just like sex is, just like bringing a child into the world is. People need to take responsibility for their actions.
Meredith, Your comments are well-written and leave lots of to think about. Do you feel that, for the most part, the changes you are seeing are a result of colonization?
In my community, I think the most significant reason causing change in families has to do with many things. There are so many aspects to this topic, I don't think anyone could give one solid cause because it breaks down to many things such as; drug use in the our communities, I've seen family members that have affected there family: emotionally, financially, physically, socially, the list goes on and on. The most common thing that causes change in our families in our community is alcoholism/drug abuse and violence in the home that takes place. Some parents are enabling their children to continue in such behaviour by taking their children's children and allowing them to go out and party and then argue, in another words, for the cycle of violenece to continue in their home. That has to be realized by the parents. Noone wants to stand up and say that yes, this is happening with out family, we need help, instead, it's mistaken as a threat to lose their children to the child and family services. So, someone, somewhere has to acknowledge with what takes place at home, if unhealthy, in order for any abuse to stop.
I started to read your comments and thought I would have time to respond to each one, individually. However, time doesn't permit, so I will make some general comments. My response to Meredith's entry should be echoed with every one of your entries. All of you have written very clearly with minimal grammatical errors... oops, couldn't help but notice :-) Well done!!
Now, as I was reading your entries I seem to see a couple of themes. First, do you think the values upheld in some of the religious teachings remained externalized for most people? Consequently, once people began to value these teachings less and less, marriage as taught by a church, for instance, became less important?
One other question: How was the family structured before European contact? Was there a marriage celebration or ceremony?
In my opinion, the most significant reason causing change in families in our community is the lack of a belief system.
With more and more community members pulling away from Christianity, its customs and beliefs are less prevalent. Unfortunately without guidance to an alternate belief system, members are loosing the values necessary in families and in raising families.
Whether it’s the teachings of the Church or of our Traditional Beliefs, values are what make us strong. Without a belief system, unhealthy behaviours have become the norm and are either accepted or ignored.
This is causing for example, “babies having babies”. The very young are bringing children into this world. Without being equipped with strong moral values, these “babies having babies” are creating a generation of lost souls.
It is my opinion, that no matter what the family structure is, be it two parent families, single parents, same sex marriages, etc., a strong belief systems would enforce the positive morals and beliefs necessary to sustain families.
In my experience the most significant reason causing change in families in my community would have to be the fact that people are no longer forced to have children. My Grandmother would tell me the priest would visit you and if you had not had children in some time, he would come to ask way. “It was Gods will,” that as women our sole purpose was to repopulate the earth. Another reason would be the structure of our family’s have changed with same sex partners, or high devoice rates, more common law partners, and interracial partners all change the dynamics of what family is.
there a number of reasons for the changes in our families. its not as important to be married to have children because of our religious belief, its possible to have children and raise them without a couple being married. There are all types of families now, we have same sex, single parents, foster families and common law.
Today the biggest issue would be people having children out of wed-lock. There are numerous couples who don't need marriage to raise a family, I for one don't think a need a paper to tell me that I'm a family or not. Marriage will not make a person a better mother or father, you have single mothers who raise their children better then some married families.
I think that the most significant cause of the changing families in my community is the religious beliefs of the people. There was a time that the catholic religion had influenced how we would start a family, raise a family. The Catholic Church no longer has a big impact on how families are being made. Times are changing; society has more influence on what is the norm for families more so than the Church.
In our communities, you have same sex families, common-law families. Families are no longer about the traditional family, being married before children. Marriage does not define a good family. It does not mean that if you are not married you cannot raise and start a healthy family. I would have to agree with Tara, you don’t need a marriage certificate to indicate that you will become a better mother or father.
16 comments:
From my personal experience what I have come to the conclusion is that there are a number of reasons for the significant change is my community and our families.
First, the growth of the community has increased and the members seem to be less concern about the emphase that was once place upon us from the catholic religion. It seems that back about ten to fifteen years ago in order to raise a proper family two people had to be married, before having children. However, today it's okay to have children out of wedlock. In addition to this there are many single parents, foster-families and same sex families.
Also our elders are not living with their children as they had once had to care for their parents while taking care of their own family. The need for childcare didn't exist because the grandparents were there to also care for the grandchildren, not because the homemaker was working because she did other chores within the household.
Finally, People in the community just do care about one another has they had once before. If a neighbor needed to borrow a cup of milk before it was just lent however, now the neighbors are now calling social services and reporting that you don't have food for your family. We have come to mistrust the people in our communities. As well as, the substain abuse has taken a forthfront in our communities. It makes people not care about themselves and their loved ones, it's all about their addictions.
And these are some of the reason why I think our communities and families are changing.
When we were younger, we use to be able to leave the house at the crack of dawn to wander all over the community and return home at dusk. Today, this is not very common. Our community’s population has exploded. As a result, more homes are being built decreasing the number of open play areas we use to have.
When our community was smaller, we were more intertwined and everyone knew everyone. As kids we were allowed to wander everywhere because our parents knew we were being watched by our neighbors and relatives. And if we did something wrong our parents would find out or that person would give us a piece of their mind, then call our parents. This can’t be done anymore because we don’t know who to call. Some members end up turning a blind eye or feel like it is not their place, when once upon a time it was. It used to be that the community raised a child, which is getting much harder and harder to do.
I believe that things are going so fast and we are not changing with the times. People are always trying to fill their schedule for family activities, but is really family activities or is it just trying to keep up with the JONES?? I believe that we should have some kind of time to sit back with your family and talk about your day, take a canoe ride or just play a board game. Family at one time was something we took part of and now I see people can't even make time to visit their family. Our role models are no longer, we as first nation people have a heard time trying to figure out WHO WE ARE! We need to step back and look at what we have and where we are going!
Our time here is short and for me, I put my family always ahead of myself and I make sure we teach our daughter what family is all about. I was brought up with STRONG family values, and that's what I wish to teach!
I think that after reading the family it does define what a family is. My personal thoughts on how families are changing are: You no longer have to married to have children. There are more single parents now than before,and one more change is that fathers no longer take the role of the home because mothers are more and more going out in the work force instead of being the housewife, and a lot more fathers are staying home.
From my experiences growing up and seeing the way families change over time is that people do not want to get married. For instance, two people are in a relationship and they have children, and then decide to move in togther in turn acting like a married family. These behaviors have seem to become acceptable in todays society. On the other hand, drugs and alcohol seem to play a big factor in how families are changing also. Families that end in a tragity like that usually end up in a family in which is made up of another similar family with children, they may or may noy be ingaged in marriage, but this is just another way that families are changing in todays society.
There have been significant changes to the family in recent years. I feel the main reason for the change is due to high cost of living resulting in both parents having to work outside of the home. "Traditional" families had the mother at home, cooking and cleaning while the father went out to work. These days, both parents are out working and the child(ren) depending on their age are either in daycare or are latchkey kids. This type of arrangement also makes for a very hectic life. Not only are the parents busy, but children are busy in their activities and schedules are tight.
Other changes in family include the single parents, increased divorces, and same-sex parents. This changes has caused society to be more open-minded, for our children and us adults too, to be more resilient and to have tolerance. This is especially so because where our world was once so small (our neighborhood/ community) to is now a larger world view due to the internet. There is so much at our fingertips.
The most significant reason causing change in families in my community is that couples have children without being married to one another. There are a lot of families that are in a common-law marriage. It is acceptable in our community to have children and not be married. Also, in our earlier years they believed that you needed to be married in order to have children, but as the times changed so did our beliefs.
For the most part I'd say from a positive point of view; people staying together and working out their problems and taking care of their children/child, together, and creating their own meaning of family.
Negative influences, I would say drugs and alcohol are a major factor. People with mixed up priorities. Disloyalty that leads to distrust.
I assume people try to manage their problems to the best of their ability, but sometimes things don't get taken care of in time and problems persist and/or get worse.
I know there is emotional hurt from past issues throughout; as a culture, overall, and then the feeling of resentment, not knowing who to blame and having to accept things that aren't easy in any way to agree with. Then there comes anger, which unfortunately sometimes turns into rage. And then that's where abuse comes in, in all forms. A lot of people with self worth issues choosing to act destructive or just stupid.
As long as there are a significant amount of people consistently working to better themselves and their lives, and at the same time, positively contributing to society,the community, and living healthy as possible then for sure more will be able to expect better. Progression.
Marriage is just an act. Just like sex is, just like bringing a child into the world is. People need to take responsibility for their actions.
Meredith,
Your comments are well-written and leave lots of to think about. Do you feel that, for the most part, the changes you are seeing are a result of colonization?
In my community, I think the most significant reason causing change in families has to do with many things. There are so many aspects to this topic, I don't think anyone could give one solid cause because it breaks down to many things such as; drug use in the our communities, I've seen family members that have affected there family: emotionally, financially, physically, socially, the list goes on and on. The most common thing that causes change in our families in our community is alcoholism/drug abuse and violence in the home that takes place. Some parents are enabling their children to continue in such behaviour by taking their children's children and allowing them to go out and party and then argue, in another words, for the cycle of violenece to continue in their home. That has to be realized by the parents. Noone wants to stand up and say that yes, this is happening with out family, we need help, instead, it's mistaken as a threat to lose their children to the child and family services. So, someone, somewhere has to acknowledge with what takes place at home, if unhealthy, in order for any abuse to stop.
I started to read your comments and thought I would have time to respond to each one, individually. However, time doesn't permit, so I will make some general comments. My response to Meredith's entry should be echoed with every one of your entries. All of you have written very clearly with minimal grammatical errors... oops, couldn't help but notice :-) Well done!!
Now, as I was reading your entries I seem to see a couple of themes. First, do you think the values upheld in some of the religious teachings remained externalized for most people? Consequently, once people began to value these teachings less and less, marriage as taught by a church, for instance, became less important?
One other question: How was the family structured before European contact? Was there a marriage celebration or ceremony?
In my opinion, the most significant reason causing change in families in our community is the lack of a belief system.
With more and more community members pulling away from Christianity, its customs and beliefs are less prevalent. Unfortunately without guidance to an alternate belief system, members are loosing the values necessary in families and in raising families.
Whether it’s the teachings of the Church or of our Traditional Beliefs, values are what make us strong. Without a belief system, unhealthy behaviours have become the norm and are either accepted or ignored.
This is causing for example, “babies having babies”. The very young are bringing children into this world. Without being equipped with strong moral values, these “babies having babies” are creating a generation of lost souls.
It is my opinion, that no matter what the family structure is, be it two parent families, single parents, same sex marriages, etc., a strong belief systems would enforce the positive morals and beliefs necessary to sustain families.
In my experience the most significant reason causing change in families in my community would have to be the fact that people are no longer forced to have children. My Grandmother would tell me the priest would visit you and if you had not had children in some time, he would come to ask way. “It was Gods will,” that as women our sole purpose was to repopulate the earth. Another reason would be the structure of our family’s have changed with same sex partners, or high devoice rates, more common law partners, and interracial partners all change the dynamics of what family is.
there a number of reasons for the changes in our families. its not as important to be married to have children because of our religious belief, its possible to have children and raise them without a couple being married. There are all types of families now, we have same sex, single parents, foster families and common law.
Today the biggest issue would be people having children out of wed-lock. There are numerous couples who don't need marriage to raise a family, I for one don't think a need a paper to tell me that I'm a family or not. Marriage will not make a person a better mother or father, you have single mothers who raise their children better then some married families.
I think that the most significant cause of the changing families in my community is the religious beliefs of the people. There was a time that the catholic religion had influenced how we would start a family, raise a family. The Catholic Church no longer has a big impact on how families are being made. Times are changing; society has more influence on what is the norm for families more so than the Church.
In our communities, you have same sex families, common-law families. Families are no longer about the traditional family, being married before children. Marriage does not define a good family. It does not mean that if you are not married you cannot raise and start a healthy family. I would have to agree with Tara, you don’t need a marriage certificate to indicate that you will become a better mother or father.
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